How Social Media Shouldn’t Be Used

This week, this thought via Pinterest and this blog post by my friend Vanessa sparked my thoughts on social media.

In a time when social media takes up so much of our lives, I couldn’t help but consider and evaluate how I use social media and how I shouldn’t.

Social media shouldn’t be used as a place for competition or comparison.

Sometimes, a lot of times, I forget why I started using social media in the first place – to share what I love and do with everyone. Instead, I get caught up with how many page views I get on my blog, or how many likes or followers I have on Instagram. It’s a never-ending cycle.

This is especially easy when I see my favorite bloggers/Instagrammers getting many more comments, likes, or followers than I have, or ever will. They seem to do better, dream bigger, be more creative, get more exposure – they always seem to have it better than I do.

But the truth is, social media isn’t about how big or popular I am. Or as Vanessa wrote, social media isn’t a popularity contest. It isn’t about being at the top or being the best. It isn’t about knocking people out of the competition so we emerge as the winner. It’s about being connected to people, friends and a community I wouldn’t have otherwise.

When I get sucked into the unhealthy game of competition and comparison, I begin to lose sight of why I do what I do in the first place. After all, as Mark Twain once wisely said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.”

So while it’s easy to get caught up with the less important things, don’t let it.

Social media is a tool, not a game to be won.

Social media shouldn’t be used as a means of validation.

To me, this reason naturally follows from not making social media a competition. And it might be the hardest one for me to remember.

Often, social media becomes a competition or a place of comparison when I start to seek approval or recognition from my followers or following. Instead of doing what I love simply because I can, I look to them to tell me what I should do so I get more approval. It becomes more about me – what I can get, rather than what I can give.

Yes, it’s always nice to be recognized, to be appreciated, to know people enjoy what I do. But sharing what I love to do on social media isn’t about hearing other people tell me about myself, how good I am, or how much I can do. Rather, it’s a place, an opportunity for me to contribute, to make new friends I wouldn’t have known otherwise, and to be part of something bigger through a community.

I know bloggers always talk about community, so much so that it’s become somewhat of a cliché. But now that I’m beginning to experience it, I know what that means. Having a community of people who love the things you love, who enjoy the things you enjoy, who are inspired by the things that inspire you, who understand the struggles you face because they go through the same things too.

The friendships formed through social media are blessings in and of themselves. And if they appreciate what you do too, that’s just a bonus.

While it’s easy to forget, remember that you aren’t a lesser person simply because you don’t have as many likes or followers as the “celebrity” Instagrammers or bloggers. How much acceptance or recognition you gain through social media doesn’t determine your value and worth.

Regardless of whether you have a million followers, or none – you are still unique, still special, still YOU.

The struggle is real. But once you step away from the need to be validated by others, you find a freedom in sharing what you love doing, simply because you can.

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A lot of times, I don’t consciously choose these thoughts. Instead, they creep in, uninvited and subtle. But whether I let these thoughts entertain me, that’s my choice.

I write very specifically in my context, where my most-used social media platforms are this blog and Instagram (and sometimes Twitter and Pinterest).

So this post is really a reminder to myself more than anyone else, a reminder to have the right focus and use social media for all the right reasons – for friendships, for community, for sharing what I love regardless.

I’m just here to do my best and to do what I love. Everything else is a plus.